markofthebrave | [ Action, Voice ] .028

[So today? Katara cuts short her usual routine with a cheerful wave and ducks out on her housemates. Aang showing up pushed so many things out of her mind, and now they were all crowding back in, along with the strangeness of Zuko's return.

She misses the Straw Hats. Going camping right now sounds wonderful. And she really wants Aang to meet them! She thought about trying to contact them over the journals, but... didn't really want to interrupt. Besides, it was better... to get used to people being gone.

She can handle this by herself. Katara is not given to introspection, but at her favorite spot by the South bridge, Katara has gathered a fair amount of smooth stones, and is alternating between stone-skipping and staring at her conversation with Nephry. She only knows one way to deal with this, and that's facing it straight on and adapting.

Water is the element of change. Water adapts.

And so, to find some way to remind herself of this and gather up the courage and mental clarity to sort things out, Katara will eventually step off the bridge and walk a ways beside the river. Once there, she closes her eyes and very slowly begins to practice basic forms, the water streaming about her in constant change and accompaniment to her thoughts, until she can almost see it in her mind's eye, overwhelming the flames.

Much, much later, she takes a seat, and makes a filter. She only hopes that she truly means what she says.]

Nephry, it's Katara. If you'd like to meet sometime today, or later this week... I'm ready now.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That must have been great, to be able to train all your life.

[Opps. Maybe not the best thing ever to bring up if she wants to avoid a certain subject.]

I had the best teachers, too. Though, I had no idea my life wasn't normal at that time, since I had nothing to compare it to.

[Yes, Katara. She'll be bringing it up now.] Katara, about that experiment...

Edited 2010-09-11 06:35 (UTC)

[She tenses. She can't help it.

We're not where you think we are.

Adapt.]

...I think I owe you thanks, too. A lot of my memories on that day are confused, but I remember you finding her, I think. Thank you, Diana.

[Her? That girl is Katara. There's really no sense in detaching yourself from a situation. It may hurt, but you must get pass it instead of shoving the experience to the back of your mind.]

You're welcome. ...Do you want to talk about it?

[...does she want to? Her hand latches on to her opposite elbow, and Katara glances down. She speaks slowly.] I guess I owe you an explanation, if you have any questions. That - what happened to me, to her then... was something new.

I don't need the details if you don't want to give them to me. I just want to know how you're handling it.

I'm handling it as best I can. [A pause.]

It's... hard. They feel real. Both sets of memories. And...

[And I'm angry on her behalf, that other me who was just a child. And I'm angry because it was me, because of the things that they said, because of what they did to me.]

...it's a lot.

You still remember everything that happened to you? [She places a hand on the other girl's shoulder.] It's good that you can talk about it. Have you tried asking help from someone?

...asking for help about what?

About coping with what you experienced.

I don't understand. Help how?

Help you move past it. If I understand correctly, the experiment is still bothering you.

You understand it right. [If there is one thing Katara is still unabashedly honest about, it's when she's upset.] But I don't understand how anyone else could help me get past it. Just being told that something 'wasn't real' doesn't change the way you feel when you remember it like it was.

There are people trained for exactly these types of situations. [She's thinking about Emma right now.] A counselor, perhaps?

I don't know what that word means. But if anyone is from a world where these kinds of things are common [Taking people from their memories and giving them new memories all together, and then meshing them both back in place] then they probably need more help than I do.

A counselor is actually someone who helps people with their problems. [Pause.] ...Not that I'm implying you have one. I just thought perhaps that you might want someone with more experience to talk to.

[Katara smiles a bit wanly.] It's hard to imagine anyone who has experience with things like remembering two different lives.

[She shakes her head.] I'll be fine, Diana. It's not that important, anyway.

Your well-being is the most important thing, Katara. You should never think otherwise.

[She shakes her head.] I know that it's important. But it's not... it's not that. What I mean is that it's not happening now. I'll find a way to deal with it.

I've... tried what he said, saying that it wasn't real. But that... [She shakes her head.] What makes something real anyway? I mean... I remember it.

It's real when it actually happened, and not merely the result of an experiment. The memories you have right now aren't what you actually experienced.

[She speaks slowly, like she's figuring this out as she's going along.]

But I did experience them. I remember them too - just like my own memories from home. Just because it didn't happen to me when I was eight... doesn't mean it didn't happen to me.

Sometimes my back... I can still remember the pain. How it happened isn't as clear, but... the pain was very real.

[Oh, Hera. She is not equipped to deal with this, but she'll try her best to comfort Katara.]

What happened to you, to your other eight year old self, it wasn't right. And it's fine to accept this as reality, but wouldn't that be doing more harm than good? Use the pain to drive you forward, not to look back at a past that never happened.

I think... it would be doing more harm than good to try to deny that something happened. I'd rather accept a horrible truth then try to deny it.

It didn't make me who I was, but... if I remember it, I don't see how it can't stop becoming a part of who I'll be.

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