markofthebrave | [ Action, Voice ] .043

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[ Action, Voice ] .043

[All right, enough of this. It's Spring and she still loves Spring (only her third Spring ever!) and Katara has decided she is going to enjoy it. No school today, so in the late morning to mid afternoon, if you are by the paths along the river you will see one (1) Katara, with a basket and her knife, taking cuttings of wildflowers. She's careful not to take too much from any one tree or bush, and she's clearly enjoying herself.]

[General Voice]
I think my favorite part about Spring is the flowers. We just didn't have anything like this where I grew up. Although in the summers I'd go on a hunt for Mouse Ears. [She pauses, remembering the last time she'd done that...] Or at least I did when I was a kid. I even found one once!

But for all you people who grew up with flowers like this - what was it like, in your Springs? Did you have any fun flower traditions?

[And after the wildflowers have been turned into bouquets, it's time to go visiting! If she hasn't seen you or heard from you in a while, and she knows where you live, your house/apartment is Fair Game.

There are, however, a few people she needs to speak with about a few specific things, so it's time for some courtesy filters! These are not very strong and mostly to prevent your journals from spam]

[Filtered to Shikamaru]
Hey - you up for a spar later?

[Filtered to Nami]
...are those mikans still up for grabs?

[Filtered to Trafalgar Law]
...would you mind if I stopped by?

[Filtered to Zoro]
...hey. I haven't seen you, and I think we should talk.

[Hmm. That was everyone she needed to talk to, right? Hopefully that was it. If it wasn't, she hopes she'll bump into people during the day. Like Sokka - an idea has occurred to her which needs discussing.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Whatever it is that you're doing.

[The delay and the thickness of her voice stops him from adding on to that: "Stop sounding like you're feeling sorry for yourself."

There's too much context missing for that - maybe she's being a sore loser for once... maybe it's just his shadow again. Could be a lot of things, really. So he leaves it at that.

Something's off though. He's watching the sky, but he can tall from the brownish blob at the corner of his eye that she hadn't even turned to face him when she spoke. Hiding, practically.]

It's not like you.

[How would you know? You don't know the first thing about me! But she doesn't have enough self-pity to say that either.

A different person would sit up, smile at him, tell him he's right and change the conversation, then politely break off later so she could have some much needed alone time. But if there is one thing Katara is when it comes to her emotions, her beliefs, and her friends it's completely genuine. She can say 'everything will be all right' and mean it in the direst circumstances because she believes it, and if she doesn't believe it wholeheartedly she believes that they at least have the power to make it so.

And right now the only thing she is genuinely is miserable and full of sour self-recrimination. She can feel the hot tears in the corner of her eyes and she really doesn't want to cry in front of him, doesn't want to talk about it, doesn't want to do anything, really.]

Congratulations on your win. [I hope it didn't bore you too much. I'm sure you'll laugh about it later.] Now go away, Shikamaru.

[...she is crying right now, isn't she. Crap.]

[...crap indeed. He squirms a little where he's lying on the ground; frowns. Girls, he thinks, should not be allowed to cry. It's unfair, is what it is, and there's an uncomfortable, fleeting feeling of 'crap what do I do here'. Part of him is perfectly willing to take her up on that.

But he's not that much of an ass. And even if he were-] That's not really an option right now.

[...'Not really an option?'

She huffs out a breath, makes sure her voice is steady - even if it comes out somewhat irritated-]

Why not?

In my professional opinion, I'm thinking it might have something to do with all the spots in my vision.

[And a slight stab of guilt - she hadn't even thought about that. Katara turns her head to glance over at him.]

That's still bothering you? How bad is it?

[Bad enough so that he doesn't feel comfortable leaving. She frowns at sits up, discretely bending the water on her face onto the ground before she does so. She doesn't want to talk about it.]

[He snorts.] It was kinda bright. [You must not have noticed with your eyes closed. 8|

Eh, but he doesn't actually mind. It was a good move on her part, and his fault that he didn't react fast enough. He flops a hand out, then settles it back on his chest.]

But it's fine. Kinda blurry, but it doesn't even hurt anymore, so I just need some time for my eyes to adjust.

We said anything goes. [She'd been very careful to bring that up this time. But she still feels bad.] You should have stopped it if you were hurt.

[Not that it mattered, since you still managed to evade everything I threw at you. And she ducks her head sharply at the thought before planting her hands behind her and levering herself up.]

Let me see how bad it is.

[He sighs, but doesn't protest to that, sitting himself upright after a moment.]

That's not an option in a real fight. I'm glad you used them, anyways. I wasn't expecting it.

[Katara realizes that she doesn't have anything to say to that which doesn't sound either incredibly bitter - if this was a real fight, I'd be dead, so don't give me that crap - or invites his further evaluation of her performance - is that why you were laughing - and she doesn't want to sound bitter and is quite satisfied with her own evaluation. So she doesn't say anything. She just closes the distance between them and bends down to place a water-coated hand on the side of his head.]

Your chi's just a little swollen. It'll be all right soon, and there isn't any damage. Want me to speed it up?

[So you can go?]

Thanks. [Good to have confirmation.] But honestly, I'd prefer to sit back and take it easy for another few minutes.

[There's an 'if that's all right' somewhere in there. It's not just his eyes - he's also just tired. That was a lot of jutsu in a short amount of time. And an excuse not to think about everything he has to think about when he's done here is nice.

...and something is still wrong.]

Fine. [That's said a little too sharply, like she's reacting to a slap. She drops her hand, attempts to ground herself with a slightly more gentle-] Suit yourself.

[She stands up and takes a few steps away from him. With her back to him, Katara crosses her arms, and stares out into nothing.

She needs to get it together. She doesn't like herself like this. Even if it's all true, and she's completely worthless, she needs to find a way to accept that, live with it, and move on. That doesn't mean she stops watching. It doesn't mean she stops trying. She'd rather be nothing and still trying than simply be nothing at all.]

Edited 2011-05-14 07:35 (UTC)

[He sighs again, frustrated by the situation, but says nothing for the time being.

She had wanted to be left alone... so she at least deserves some time to think through whatever's going on in her head before he interrupts. Shikamaru keeps his eyes on the sky again, but he's keeping an ear out for her.]

[She doesn't want to think about everything else, so she runs the spar through her mind again. Maybe she should have pressed him when he did that thing which reminded her of the octopus form instead of trying to draw him out. If she'd drawn all the water from the grass around him, she could have made it very difficult... and then turned each stream into mist as his shadows tries to catch them.

But then that would have made it even harder for her to see, and he was already operating as well as he was with his eyes closed. She let's out a frustrated sigh - still, she should have found a way to push that advantage more.

...and he's still here. There are some questions she has about his moves that he might be willing to answer, which are now bubbling to the surface from the mire of her misery. But more than that... she's aware that he's uncomfortable and frustrated and it's her natural inclination to want to soothe that - she's not angry at him, after all.

And her sense of fairness is niggling as well. It's not fair that he gets to see her so upset - she'd asked for this spar, after all. He hadn't signed up for this aftermath. She'd hoped it would help, and usually it would have, even with the defeat, but instead... she owes him some kind of explanation.]

I never wanted to be a healer, you know. I didn't even know that you could heal with waterbending until [she hesitates] there was an accident.

[Fire - burned down through hundreds of layers of skin - those will scar for sure - it hurts - I'm sorry, Katara! - running from him... astonishment when it just... stopped hurting.]

Yeah?

[It's curious - he's seen her heal people enough times (too recently) that between that and what she's told him, he knows the process is tightly interwoven with her waterbending.] And it made you change your mind?

[There's all kinds of questions he can ask here, but for now it seems like she has a story to tell. That makes it his place to just listen.]

Pff - no. [She glances at him over her shoulder.] It just showed me it was possible. I had been - badly burned. And when I put my hands in the water, my bending took over - restored the skin, healed the burn in a few seconds.

[I'd been worried about the scars, worried the burns were deep enough that I'd lose feeling in my hands, scared and in so much pain...]

I'd never seen anything like it. I didn't even know what had happened until Jeong-Jeong - he was a renegade Fire Nation admiral - told me that some waterbenders had the gift. It just activated on its own - I didn't know what I was doing, or how it had worked.

That's some gift.

[Especially one she could stumble upon so easily, and that it would be as simple as breathing.]

Yeah. [Some gift.

Better than nothing, anyway.

Master Pakku would be so disappointed.]

Does it bug you?

[It's a nudge. He's still waiting for the point to you telling him that.]

A little. Not in the way you're thinking. [She looks away from him again.] I wanted to be able to stop people from getting hurt. Not fumble through fixing them up after.

[And after she'd fought her way in to try to be so strong - she would have been better in the healing huts with Yugoda after all. But not even the best waterbending could heal the kind of damage this place dealt out on a regular basis. She thinks of Nami and sokka and she shuts her eyes.]

So do that when you're there to.

[He says this matter-of-factually. Maybe it seems as if he's missed the point, or worse - that he got it and dismissed it.

It's neither of these things. He's just telling her her option as he sees it.]

[A hand goes up to rub at her eyes - shut-up, you saw nothing - before she turns to look at him over her shoulder again.]

What do you mean?

[ffff he really didn't this time]

This place is a pain in the ass, and it's not going to stop being one anytime soon. You're not always going to be able to there for your friends - that's just the way things are. It sucks and you can feel bad about it, but that's the way it is.

["They're bothering you too, aren't they."

"Do you want to tell me about it?"]

If you need to vent, that's one thing, but thinking about it isn't going to make you feel better. So don't dwell on it. Just help your friends where you can.

[Guess that flashbomb was good for something. 8|

...she looks away from him again and wraps her arms around herself. She didn't need to vent. She needs to get home.

But she is, unfortunately, stronger than this. She's seen her friends fall before. And she hates not being able to help them. The issue with Sokka is something else, but for the others...

...she just has to trust them.

...and if that doesn't work, she'll have to try again later. They're not allowed to give up. And neither is she.

And so, ignoring the still-sick feeling in her stomach, Katara turns around.]

There's someone I think you should talk to.

[What, this transition makes perfect sense in her mind.]

[They'll make it happen someday.]

Yeah. Whoever the hell made you those flash bombs. [...because he wants some. Easier model than the ones he carries.

From his tone and the half-smirk on his face, his vision's obviously improving, though.]

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