markofthebrave | [Action, Chickening Out Written, and Voice] .015

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[Action, Chickening Out Written, and Voice] .015

[What with Zuko's unexpected and somewhat... well, dubious bout of hopefully-it-will-be-win and please don't burn their house again, Katara has an unexpected bout of free time. This is both a good thing, and a bad thing, since with the craziness of her first few months dying down, Katara has started to feel homesickness pressing down on her. Couple that with Sokka's keeping secrets, his friendship with Ty Lee, and learning chi blocking, the extra time to think is not... exactly... happy.

So here she is, at the bridge by her house, standing at the arch and staring out over the water.]

[Filtered to Ginko 70 percent]

Ginko, have you ever-

Is there a time where

I need

[No. It wasn't fair to bring anyone into this. She'd figure it out the same way she always did.]

[Voice: Filtered away from Zuko, 70%]

~~So... has anyone else noticed anything strange going on tonight? There isn't a new experiment going on, is there?~~

[And pretty much immediately after this comment Katara is going to find a way to erase this voice post if it kills her. She didn't mean to upset anyone! It was just - so weird.]

[...And sometime after dinner, she'll be returning to her practicing routine outside of the house, in case she's due for a talking to ~~you know who you are~~.]

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...[Right about here would be the part where her throat closes up. There's your answer, Sokka.]

[And Sokka has no answer to that. He knows what she's talking about and it's not something he likes to think about. Because for all that Aang, Zuko, and Toph are able to do... that one ability his own sister has is scary to even think about. There's no defense against it, whatsoever. It's about this point that he isn't even able to make eye contact, because having your body paralyzed is infinitely better than having it used against you.

Or worse, against someone else.]

[She's not looking at him either. But her eyes aren't closed. Her shoulders are hunched defensively, hands clenching into fists. This was the last thing she experienced before coming to Luceti. That scene... Sokka with his sword out, being forced to rush at Aang... sometimes she still hears Hama's laugh.

A long silence passes. When she speaks, her voice is hesitant:] Did we ever... talk about it? In my future?

[They never did. He never wanted to. When they left that crazy old woman, Sokka put it behind him and never though about her again. At least he tried for the most part. But at the time, they didn't have time to talk about it. He had the invasion to plan. They were on a tight schedule. He was able to put it off, forget about it, and hope it would never become relevant again. However his answer isn't much delayed and is delivered with blunt honesty.]

... no. We didn't.

[...she's not surprised. They wouldn't be talking about it now if it wasn't for Ty Lee. After all, isn't she supposed to just be able to roll with these things? Adapt, Katara. Accept it and move on. So what if one of the most precious things to you has become horribly tainted. So what if the power of the full moon scares you as much as it comforts you. You're stronger than this.

And maybe... maybe if they talk about it, they won't have to deal with it. It won't have to be real.]

...do you want to?

[For a moment, he's actually tempted to say no. Because it would be a lot easier to go back to not thinking about it. But it wouldn't be fair. They weren't going anywhere, so they needed to talk about it. There was no deadline, no impending doom. No reason at all to avoid it.]

We should. [Because he doesn't even know how it works or what name to even give it.]

[This face, but without the tears. And she's still not looking at him. Her fists clench tighter at her sides.]

I'd do it again. If I had to. I'd still stop her.

[Even if now... I have to know how to do it forever.]

[He nods, finally looking up to see her. It's a worrying face to see on his sister, who one year ago was so different.]

I know you had to. If you didn't, I might have... [Hurt Katara? Possibly. And if he had...]

Edited 2010-05-09 03:29 (UTC)

[Dude, you were rushing straight towards Aang with your sword out. Hurting Katara was the last thing on her mind.

And... she's got nothing to say to that, really. Her face doesn't change - she's just lost in that night again. Not only the betrayal, and the feeling of being taken over, not only having to face who she might have become - and Katara recognized it as surely as she knew her own soul - and fight her, not only realizing that waterbending could be used in this horrible way, but that it had been used to hurt innocents, no - she was also remembering what it had been like to fight against Sokka and Aang, with that woman using them as puppets.

...and she was trying her hardest not to remember what it had felt like to slip inside Hama's body, use her power, and pull]

[Sokka can only guess what's going through her mind now. But... he's not too far off. There had been few times he had ever seen his sister so horrible crushed than the moments following Hama's 'defeat'. He didn't know what to say then. But then, did any of them?]

You aren't like her, you know. And you never will be, Katara. Because you're stronger than she is and I don't just mean you're bending. Besides that, you have something she didn't. Me.

[She's not really hearing him. And even if she was... it would be hard to believe him. Everyone she's ever loved and trusted in her life has left, or betrayed her, except for Sokka. And now he's someone who learns fire, learns chi blocking, gets drunk with Fire Nation girls and invites them to sleep over - and she wasn't being fair, but she can't help but feel that his offer is hollow. She didn't have to look at him to see the disgust and fear on his face when they talked about bloodbending. She wanted to believe him...

But it just hurt so much.

Tears form, and her throat hurts, blocking her from making any response - which, considering what she probably would have said, is a good thing. She tries not to sob, and the effort makes her shake.]

[He had expected an affirmation from her. Or something. Not... silence. Had he really messed up that much that what he just said didn't mean anything anymore? He knew he had made some mistakes... and maybe didn't tell her things he should have. But at the end of the day, he always knew that Katara would understand. After all, she took care of him after their mother died. If she didn't believe he would be there for him...

For once, Sokka is the one who steps forward to pull her close. he doesn't have any words of wisdom to offer or empty apologies.] We've always been there for each other. There's nothing I won't do to make sure that doesn't change.

Edited 2010-05-09 05:49 (UTC)

[That... breaks her. The sobs come out and she clings to him, bawling.]

I hate it. I hate it so much. And I know you hate it too, but I can't help it.

I know. [He doesn't move. He'll let her stay there as long as she needs.] But it doesn't matter to me. I don't care what that old woman or the Malnosso do to you. You're still my sister. Nobody can change that.

[It's going to be some time. Even just thinking about this leaves Katara feeling scraped out and empty. When Hama had made her dance for her - when she had begged her, 'No - stop this - please' - and Hama had only laughed... she can't stop crying. But they're cleansing tears, because Sokka is right - she is stronger than this. And even though she feels filthy, violated, and so horribly hurt... she'd been strong enough to beat her back.

...Strong enough to slip inside her and take control as well, enforce her will over the only other Southern waterbender she'd ever met, and stop her.

And it had been terrible. And she'd do it again.

Eventually, Katara pulls back and wipes ineffectually at her face. She doesn't even think about bending. When her breathing returns to normal. she offers Sokka a brief, wobbly 'I'm okay, you're okay' smile.]

[Sokka returns with his own forced smile. It's sincere, but one backed up by mixed feelings. He certainly understands her now, more than he has in a long time. The fact that she had to carry this for so long... two months here and even two months in his own time. What had he been thinking?

And there was the matter of chi blocking. He didn't see it as the same, but... it wasn't that important. It was ultimately a very, very small sacrifice and one he was willing to make.]

... you still trust me, right?

[Katara blinks, taken aback.] What? Of course I do. Why would you even say that?

... because I've been messing up a lot lately... and after everything that's happened... [he trails off there.]

Well, anyway. I just wanted to make sure, that's all.

[She had felt... distant from Sokka lately, but she hadn't looked at it like he was messing up. Except for going out drinking with Azula, that was just stupid. She hadn't known what it was, and when she'd seen him practicing with Ty Lee in front of their house the other night, the way that she'd been made to feel - as an intruder - had really hurt.

But that wasn't enough to break her trust in him. She lays her hand on Sokka's shoulder.]

You haven't been messing up. It's just - been different, somehow. [Different enough that she was actively avoiding him instead of confronting him which... is pretty huge. Part of it was fear of the thought bubbles, but then somehow it just got... easier.] You shouldn't apologize for the choices you made if you thought they were right, Sokka.

[She shakes her head and drops her hand, then glances down. She can't help still feeling... a bit of dread. But she's choosing to believe in him now, and that settles it. Katara's not... exactly comfortable talking about how much trust she has in him, and what it means. They'd never talked about Jet. Or about Hama. Or about Aang when he left - or even about their dad. Why would they? They knew already. After a moment, she glances back up at him, her eyes filled with quiet determination, instead of the echoing pain she feels.]

Don't worry. If that ever happens... you'll know.

[If it happens. It's a step above when, but it's not quite never. It could happen. His sister even thinks it's possible. He puts that out of his mind, though. He's the older brother. He would just have to try harder, that's all. If she doubted him, he'd make sure she didn't have a reason to in the future.]

Alright. I guess you're right.

[Sorry, Sokka. Just look at her track record. She's never going to be able to say 'never.' About anyone.

She exhales and leans back on her heels for a moment, studying him. She's about to ask a question when instead-

Katara launches forward and wraps her arms around his shoulders. This time it's not her clinging to him for comfort. She's just hugging her brother. I love you. You are important to me. I am not going anywhere.

And maybe the words don't come out, but she thinks he'll get the point.]

[He gets it. He really does. And even though this is the second hug he's had now, this time it's like all the tension between them is gone. Kind of like things are back to normal. Katara can go back to making bad decisions and he can go back to doing random, seemingly stupid things and they'll berate each other. Just like old times.]

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[Action, Chickening Out Written, and Voice] .015

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