[Action, Chickening Out Written, and Voice] .015

[markofthebrave]

[What with Zuko's unexpected and somewhat... well, dubious bout of hopefully-it-will-be-win and please don't burn their house again, Katara has an unexpected bout of free time. This is both a good thing, and a bad thing, since with the craziness of her first few months dying down, Katara has started to feel homesickness pressing down on her. Couple that with Sokka's keeping secrets, his friendship with Ty Lee, and learning chi blocking, the extra time to think is not... exactly... happy.

So here she is, at the bridge by her house, standing at the arch and staring out over the water.]


[Filtered to Ginko 70 percent]

Ginko, have you ever-

Is there a time where

I need

[No. It wasn't fair to bring anyone into this. She'd figure it out the same way she always did.]

[Voice: Filtered away from Zuko, 70%]

So... has anyone else noticed anything strange going on tonight? There isn't a new experiment going on, is there?

[And pretty much immediately after this comment Katara is going to find a way to erase this voice post if it kills her. She didn't mean to upset anyone! It was just - so weird.]


[...And sometime after dinner, she'll be returning to her practicing routine outside of the house, in case she's due for a talking to you know who you are.]

Comments

[restoremyhonour.livejournal.com]

[The strength pinning Katara down will lighten, but not totally go away. It's still there enough to stop her from bending, but Zuko doesn't want to let her up until he's sure she's understood what he's been trying to say. Hopefully like she can read his emotions as easily as he seems to be reading hers. That self loathing for what he just did. But she was starting to scare him with how much she was reminding him of the Zuko that first faced her.]

Trying to make you listen. This isn't why I suggested a spar. Why are you being so irrational. You're smarter and better then this. Or at least I thought you were.

[markofthebrave]

[Unfortunately, Katara is not really paying attention to Zuko or trying to understand - she's quickly moving beyond angry into a cold calm, calculating what she'd have to do to get out of this and how she'd have to hurt him if he didn't move.]

I'm irrational? You're the one who's trying to hem me in with fire!

[She takes a deep breath and meets his gaze evenly.] Zuko. Get off me. I'm not going to tell you again.

[It's a matter of respect now - if he gets off her, she'll rage and listen, but if he doesn't he's endangering the trust between them.]

[restoremyhonour.livejournal.com]

[Zuko will close his eyes for a moment as he gathers himself. Being this angry is not what he wants. When he opens then he'll look at Katara and speak to her in a reasonable tone.]

I let you up and we talk. No bending, or anything else? [Like, you know, him attacking her without bending.]

[markofthebrave]

[Her voice is cold.]

Or else what, Zuko? Are you going to hurt me? [She pauses to let him know - yes, she could and very much would feel justified in viewing this as a threat. He's not holding her as tightly as he was at first, and if she wanted to, the chances were very good that she could surprise him by ripping right through those fire cuffs - and she wouldn't hesitate to do it. But somewhere in the back of her mind, she remembers: Zuko is an idiot. And so she's very careful in what she says next.]

No. You get up because I told you to get off me and we will sit down and talk like two friends who have a lot to talk about and not because of anything else.

[Trust me or you don't. Just like I'm trusting you and not attempting to murder you right now.]

[restoremyhonour.livejournal.com]

There wasn't an or else. It was a request, for both of us. [The voice is soft, so soft that Katara might have missed it, and then he's not holding her down any more. Or in the river. With a small boost from his firebending he's jumped and landed on a relatively dry patch of ground, back where they were sparring initially.]

[markofthebrave]

[Katara does hear him, but it's the tone that penetrates more than the words. And then he's jettisoned himself off, and the fire around her wrists vanish. The heat of her anger has cooled, leaving only cold resolve behind. And so as she moves, she only notes the ways she could have attacked him, she doesn't actually feel tempted.

So Katara stansds and takes the few short steps towards the shore, bending the water off of herself. She holds his gaze. And then glances around until she sees a rock large enough for the two of them to sit on, halfway between where he's standing and the river.

Silently, she walks over to it and sits down. There's room next to her, if he dares.]

[restoremyhonour.livejournal.com]

[Zuko stays standing where he is for a while. He wants to just keep on going, but in the back of his mind he keeps hearing Katara's voice after she had healed him after his run in with Aku and Yuber.

... it's what friends do... next time... don't run...

And after what feels like an age he'll turn around and go sit on the rock beside Katara. We're friends right? He really hopes he hasn't managed to muck it all up.]

[markofthebrave]

[There is a subtle shift in her position on the rock to accommodate his presence. The time he was silent was good for her too. It gave her a chance to sort out what she needed to say.

She hadn't thought about him walking away. But there is some part of her that is glad that he stayed. When she speaks her voice is low.]

The next time you want to stop a spar? You say stop.

We stop when the other person tells us to. [And that includes 'get off.'] Or else we don't do this again.

[restoremyhonour.livejournal.com]

I didn't want to have to stop it. You just... couldn't hear what I was saying. I was trying to wake you up to it.

[markofthebrave]

So you tackled me? [She turns to look at him, searches his face, and winces a little bit.] Of course you did.

[Sigh. And there's a muttered 'Idiot' in a tone which he might have heard more than a few times as she was taking care of him.]

[restoremyhonour.livejournal.com]

[Yes he recognises that tone. But he's ignoring it for now.] You were leaving such huge holes in you defenses. It just wasn't like you.

[Zuko start intently studying the dirt around the base of the stone.]

So what got you so worked up that you weren't thinking?

[markofthebrave]

[She sighs a little. She's tired and sore and when he's right, he's right. She should have attacked him as soon as he hit the water. She should have pulled the water to herself instead of running up the bank towards him. She should have...]

I don't know. It wasn't just what you were saying...

[Man, the dirt down there sure must be fascinating, for both of them to be staring at it so intently.] It was like I didn't know what we were doing or saying anymore, and I just really wanted to fight somebody, but I couldn't because we were just sparring...

[But that's just about the fight, that's not about why she was so upset in the first place... She closes her eyes for a moment. She's just so tired, of so much of this.]

[restoremyhonour.livejournal.com]

[Yeah Katara, that wasn't what Zuko was asking. He knows that feeling all too well. It was part of how he used to live his whole life until about a year ago. What he's asking is why you were fighting like that, what has gotten under your skin that badly.]

That ... you fought like I did. Well at least like I did until about a year ago for me. Like the me you think of back... you know, there. [Back at home. Their real home and not this place and the house somewhere behind them.]

[markofthebrave]

[She glances back up at him for a moment.] I don't think of you that way anymore. Not really.

[And then she pulls her legs up and hugs them to her chest as she stares straight ahead.] I was angry. I don't like not knowing what to do.

[restoremyhonour.livejournal.com]

[Well that is nice Katara to hear you say that, but that's not what he meant. There will be a quick glance at Katara before going back to that dirt studying.] Fine, how about the me you met when you first found the avatar. That's who you reminded me of.

[Zuko understands that feeling of not knowing what to do. He'd spend a lot of his life like that, totally focused on finding the Avatar and restoring his honour. Not knowing what he could do, his anger had increased as he channeled it into something, anything, to feel like he had a purpose in life. It was only later he really realised what he had done, finding a new purpose, understanding his uncle... And the thing that had triggered so much of that anger and uncertainty. Surely Katara wasn't suffering from that. She had her brother here. She's been traveling the world with the Avatar. why would she be...] Homesick?

[markofthebrave]

[She glances up at him quickly.] Homesick?

[Was that... it? She looks away and wraps her arms a little tighter around her knees.] Yeah. I guess I am.

I miss... everything. And - we knew what to do. This place...

[restoremyhonour.livejournal.com]

... is very different?

[markofthebrave]

[She speaks lowly:] I hate it here. Nothing matters - the Malnosso mess with our minds and our hearts and we die and come back in a week and lose pieces of ourselves-- people come and go and there's nothing we can do about it--

And then people come from home and it's like - what do we do with them? We can't treat them like we're at home but we can't just forget either. I hate not knowing what to do.

[restoremyhonour.livejournal.com]

[Hey rock, you are the most interesting rock ever seen by Zuko. That's why he's staring so hard at you.]

People like my sister and her friends? Or like Roku?

[markofthebrave]

Either. Both, I guess. [Is it possible for Katara to hunch up any smaller? Because if it is, she's doing it.]

I just - don't understand why Sokka is being so friendly with Ty Lee. I'm not... unwilling to give her a chance, or anything, but it's... not easy.

[Why is it so easy for him and not for me? How can he just let these things go? She shakes her head a little.] I just - get the feeling that - she doesn't even care.

[restoremyhonour.livejournal.com]

[Right... Ty Lee... He should have guessed that from what Sokka said while they were making dinner. Oh well.]

Did Sokka ever talk to you about what happened with Ty Lee and Mai? At the end?

[markofthebrave]

[She nods.

It's not enough.

Moving quickly to save a friend is not enough.

And just as she was about to let it pass, a vague remembrance stirs - Mai helped them because of Zuko, didn't she? And she glances up at him in curiosity and concern.]

[restoremyhonour.livejournal.com]

[And Zuko totally fails to see that nod, so it's only when he feels Kataras gaze on him that he stops checking out the rock and looks back, totally unsure of why he's getting that look.]

[markofthebrave]

I know... that Mai saved you. [She watches to attempt to determine whether or not hearing her name effects him. She's not trying to make him upset.] And that Ty Lee saved Mai.

[restoremyhonour.livejournal.com]

[Katara won't see a reponce in Zuko's face. Actually she'll find that she can't seem to get any idea of whether Mai's name effected Zuko or not.]

Well yes. But I was more meaning after that. How she joined the Kyoshi Warriors.