markofthebrave | [ Action, Voice ] .060

[ Action, Voice ] .060

[Katara hadn't been sleeping well to begin with, the moon was full and bright and her blood was restless - at least, that was her excuse. The truth of the matter was that ever since Masaomi, and then Aang had confessed, she hadn't known peace. It was manifesting in shallow sleep, in more determined than genuine cheer. So when the moon woke her - it was so bright tonight, like one of Luceti's streetlights - she tossed and turned futilely before getting up.

She dressed quietly, making sure to take the 'holy water' waterskin, and walked along the river. Though the way she was feeling, the holy water would be the last recourse if confronted with the vampire. She felt like unleashing the full power of the river on something. Her neck prickled, restless, tense, practically itching for the excuse to focus all her agitation into a fight, a sanctified, no holds barred clash of water and strength and agility, a focus, a clarity so that she wouldn't have to worry about her torn heart, or the hearts of those she loved anymore.

She'd go on a mission, if she thought it would help. But she didn't want to have to kill anyone. And Aang was here. ...and she especially didn't want to have to kill anyone while Aang was here.

Eventually, she reached the Southern Lake and stood, staring at the moon and its reflection for long moments. The serenity of the scene failed to soothe her and with a loud "HAH!" she shifted form and tore a burst of water straight through the surface of the lake until it towered as high as the trees before she abruptly pulled it back and up, catching it before it crested the edge of the lake and turning the raised water into a thousand smaller drops.

She felt a little better, until she noticed all the lakeside creatures she'd stirred to life with her childish display. Lightly ashamed of herself, she moved to sit by one of the slides she and the first Toph had constructed, contenting herself with shattering the lake's serenity with a handful of pebbles every now and again.]

[After a late night out, Katara slept in to nearly noon this Saturday... morningish. It felt good. She didn't have a shift in the Med Lab today, so today was a day for... errands. Study and maybe some time on the koto and running into town to make sure she had as much as she needed for dinner, but... she also had time to address the journal, if she wanted.]

Hey, Luceti - it's a lazy sort of Saturday. Now's a good time to share some famous stories from our worlds, don't you think? Does anyone know any famous adventures? ...or love stories?

[What is love? Baby don't hurt me...]

I know a pretty good one. It takes place in the Earth Kingdom, a long time ago, before there were earthbenders...

[She'll just leave that there, not wanting to spam in case of a lack of interest.

Of course, the chances are also good that one of her housemates or friends may decide to claim her attention for something else entirely. So if anyone wants to do that, or bump into her as she runs to the grocery store, or spy on her while she's playing music, this is a lazy Saturday, come as you are sort of deal.]

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[She's not going to argue with him about this, she's not going to confirm or deny it. It's a taint. It's a horror. And worse, no one but a waterbender stronger than her could stop it. And horribly, there were times when she almost wished...

She looks out over towards the moon.]

You don't know what you're talking about. You don't understand.

I'd like to.

[And with a smile in his voice:] C'mon. All you have to lose is having this conversation again.

[She glanced back at him.]

I'm not going to bloodbend. Let alone on you. It's invasive and dangerous.

Edited 2012-05-17 04:35 (UTC)

Katara, I manipulate my own life energy as a weapon. I've trained with guys who could make my internal organs explode with a feather touch. If there's anyone who's safe to practice on in this village, it's me.

[He lets his arm flop back to his chest.]

It doesn't have to be much - just move an arm, or have me stand. If you can.

[That little zinger shouldn't bother her as much as it does.]

Oh, I can. But this isn't something I think I should do. Why are you pushing this?

Because sometimes, that's what you need friends to do. And because I trust you.

[So have a little faith in him too, okay?]

[Shikamaru, why do you have to make this about trust?]

[Because he thinks it's one of the few things that could get through to her. He can't push her anymore than that.]

[...she looks away.]

When Hama learned this, she practiced on rats, in the dregs and darkness of her prison, after watching all her brother and sister waterbenders die around her, suspended in cages, choked by heated air, cut off from their element.

[That is how low, how deep and dark this is. That is how wrapped up it is, in hatred and despair.]

I don't suppose demonstrating on rats would be enough.

Edited 2012-05-18 04:56 (UTC)

[He's quiet for a moment... but oddly enough just broadens his grin.

You rat bastard.]

A woman once said I was nothing but a rat. But unlike any scurrying around, I'm not running away. I'm volunteering.

[Something he said flicked a switch, provoked a righteous passion in her that had been too long out of her reach. She turned back to him.]

No, I won't. I won't reduce you to that. And if you think I will, you're insane.

Did you think of her as a rat, when you beat her?

I didn't think of her as anything. I was terrified, and it was the only way to stop her.

Same as saying no. If you didn't use her in that respect, someone who made herself your enemy, I know you wouldn't treat me as such.

The act itself does it, Shikamaru. My intentions, my perceptions won't matter at all once I'm inside of you controlling your heartbeat.

They're the only thing that matters. Don't you see that?

[How can you be so bright about some things, and so pig-bullheaded about others?]

No. [Flatly. So flatly.] I don't.

[All he can see is himself. I quit. Words of a stupid, selfish coward of a kid.

No one had any kind words for him then, or tried to reason with him delicately. Would he have seen different if they had? Probably not.

His father's method of tough love isn't the nicest, but sometimes it's exactly what you need.]

[A slow exhale.]

Then you're worse than she is.

[She flinched as though receiving a slap.

But after tonight? She's too full of self-recrimination to explode at him.

Her eyes, instead of filling with tears, grow hard as agates.]

Or maybe I'm just the same. She won, don't you see that? I may have stopped her from killing Aang, but she won.

[Okay. Maybe there are some tears.]

I did what I had to, and I'd do it again, but I'll be damned if I do it to a friend.

[She starts to walk off. He's right. She's a horrible person. But she doesn't need to sit around and listen other people say it, while they lay on the ground and dismiss the concerns of her heart while begging her to violate her conscience.]

[He won't move to stop her - it would be easy with the Kage Mane - but he raises his voice to make sure she hears him. If she keeps going, he'll keep talking. Maybe even after she's gone.]

She wins because you let her. Hama did awful things, but you can be damn sure she knew what she was doing. She intended to do bad, she wanted to hurt, so that's what she did?

You think just because you never use it, no one else will ever learn that ability? Someone would. Maybe they'll do awful things too, but maybe if they knew of someone who didn't, if they knew someone who used it to help their friends instead of hurt their enemies they wouldn't.

But they'll have no such example, because you can't see past some bad intentions. You can't even muster up the courage to accept it and help yourself. I've always thought better than that of you.

[She stops walking when he starts talking - still insulting her by lying down - because she won't be rude enough, or cowardly enough to walk away when he still felt that he had a point to make.

And what a point it was. By the time he was finished calling her a coward and a disappointment, her fists were clenched at her sides. She whirled around.]

You have no right. What you're asking of me makes me a pariah, it goes against everything that I want, and all that I understand bending to be. So not only am I a horrible person, but I'm a coward and a disappointment as well? How dare you. I've bent over backwards to understand you, to listen to your ideas and respect your judgement. I've sacrificed my conscience, overcome my fear to guard your teammates, and I've trusted you. You won't even accept my choices.

[She cuts herself off with an angry gesture before she makes their friendship more of a mockery than he has.]

If you want to continue this conversation, then stand on your feet.

[So I can kick your ass.]

Edited 2012-05-18 07:09 (UTC)

[This isn't even about him. He'd wonder why she even thinks she should bring those things up, but he knows. He's hurt her, and she is a woman after all. He hasn't met many who will think with their heads once you've done that.

He sits up, though not quite standing. He could, he intends to.]

Are you really going to listen to what I say if I do? Tonight, you seem determined not to hear me.

[Oh no. It's all about him, and his right of judgement - all that she's given up to be understanding and he won't even pretend to attempt to respect her.]

Listening doesn't mean agreeing.

[And something in her breaks, just then.]

But you won't even do that. You're trying to manipulate me. We might not be on even ground, but even I can see that, even if I can't see why. I don't want to walk away from you like this, but the way you're acting right now, I'd be a fool to stay.

[In fact, just like that, most of the fighting has gone out of her.

Sokka would say she'd been a fool to stay from the moment she found out about what they did in his village.

Without the fight, all she had left was pain.

Won't even respect me enough to fight me. Why should he bother?

She shook her head and turned to go, this time intending to offer him the same 'respect' he was giving her: None at all.]

Edited 2012-05-18 07:26 (UTC)

[She's doing it again.]

This isn't a spar, this isn't a game of shogi - I don't look at you like I look at a pawn.

I have a list in my head of all the things I can say to you [but you won't even listen / this isn't just a disagreement, you dismiss the possibility entirely] but all that it boils down to is that I don't want you to hate yourself.

And that's it.

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