[ Action ] .062

[markofthebrave]

[So it's safe to say that this month has been more than a little crazy. But with nothing exploding in the past few days, she's finally had some time to take care of some basic etiquette. There is no postal system in Luceti, so Katara will be making some visits today. Namely, to all those who gave her a present who she doesn't live with, so we're looking at: Buffy, Jack, Trafalgar Law, Masaomi Kida, Nara Shikamaru, Harry Dresden, Vivi, Mia, Raine and anyone else I may have missed in my scan of the present table. Once she finds your living place, you will receive a handmade thank you card with pressed flowers from her garden inside. (Naturally, any of these deliveries may be handwaved, and if anyone in one of those apartment buildings/houses wants to wonder what she's doing there, feel free to say hello!)

But - hark! - sometime during her jaunt out and about town, Katara actually spots something in the clothing shop that catches her eye. A hat display! Right by the window! She heads inside (just for a moment or two, she swears) to start trying on what look to be several very silly hats. Feel free to catch her at this activity, but be warned! She may try and fit you with a hat as well.]

Comments

[markofthebrave]

You really give out the worst names, Jack.

[Just saying.]

[all7seas]

Oh, right. Because PETUNIA didn't take his manhood and slowly eunuchicize it.

1/2

[markofthebrave]

I keep telling you it's a nickname. Prince Enrique Tenzin Ulberto Naoi Indigo Aang is way too long to say.

[This is what happens when you let eight-year-old girls name things, Jack.]

[markofthebrave]

Also? He's a starfish. I really don't think he had much manhood to lose.

[And she's pretty sure "eunuchicize" isn't a word, but she'll leave that for later, if necessary.]

[all7seas]

......I'm taking him back!

[markofthebrave]

[Wow, Jack. Rude. R U D E.

Katara crosses her arms.]

No. The girls like him.

[all7seas]

But you're.....he's........isn't he pining?! What with all the femininimizing?

[One of the starwenches is slowly slooshing up Jack's arm.]

[markofthebrave]

[Katara eyes that star fish slooshing its way up Jack's arm. And she decides to do nothing.

She returns a somewhat dour glance to him.]

He's fine. He's just as sassy as ever. And he doesn't need any company because I don't want to have to clean the tank any more than I already am.

[all7seas]

[More of the starwenches are now trying to make a break for it up Jack's body. One of them is starting to squash up his sleeve.]

Woman! Ungrateful! I chose the cleanest of them all, for you!

[markofthebrave]

[Flat look.]

No you didn't.

[all7seas]

.....He does have some bad habits, now you mention it.

[markofthebrave]

He's a starfish, Jack. Like the one climbing up to your shoulder.

[all7seas]

[They're all over him now, inching up his arms. One is going down his trousers.]













Help.

[markofthebrave]

[She's not reaching down your pants, Jack.]

Oh, for pity's sake...

[She reaches out and flicks three off his arm and back into the bucket in quick succession.]

You might want to do something about that one.

[She can't quite reach the one heading towards his neck, and of course there's that pesky trouser-seeker.]

[all7seas]

They want to make sweet love to me!

[Well. Now he's fishing around inside his pants, Katara.]

[markofthebrave]

[Better him than her. That's not something she wants to explain to Buffy. She lifts a hand to her temple, shading her eyes as she turns slightly away.]

Jack, they're starfish. They're only thinking with their stomachs.

[Which means they probably just want to eat you.]

[all7seas]

[There is a sharp intake of breath, a pause, and a frantic man trying to get a five-legged prostitute out of his pants.]

WHOA! NO! STOP! NO EATING! NOT EVEN A NIBBLE, GIRL!

[markofthebrave]

[She sighs and turns around.]

Jack, just put the bucket down and do what you have to do.

[Honestly.

...and while you're fussing about in your pants, what's going on with the starfish on your neck, eh?]

[all7seas]

[Finally, after some unspeakable gyrations, the pants-culprit is evicted. Next the neck-hugger, who leaves a starfish-shaped hickey right on the pirate's throat.]

Katara? I've gone to horrible straits just to get Sledgeboons some sweet huggling loverlegs. Won't you reconsider?

[He asks this with Petalpower still dangling from one hand.]

There's not enough of me to go around for them all. They need a strong starry fish with five legs who wants lots of affection.


Lots. Lots of affection.

[markofthebrave]

[Katara's got lots of reasons to say no.

-She didn't ASK for the starfish in the first place
-She specifically told him NOT to bring the other starfish here
-She doesn't want to clean up after more starfish
-More starfish will make MORE starfish
-She doesn't want the girls to have to see that, and the starfish is kept in their room

But instead she just turns around and looks at those puppy dog eyes... and at the dangling starfish... and sighs. She shakes her head.]

I already said no. And nothing about the behavior of those starfish has changed my mind.

[all7seas]

.............................Oh.

[markofthebrave]

[She shrugged, smiling a little.]

But thank you for thinking of Petunia.

[That's right. Petunia.]

[all7seas]

[All right all right. He'll take his bucket and GO, then.]

Hmph. You're welcome.




[He's going to have to find another way to bring lady-comforts to Sledgeboons.]

[markofthebrave]

[Any measure he takes will no doubt be temporary. She is not above transporting the whole lot back into the ocean.]

Have a good day!

[...pause.]

And you might want to do something about that welt on your neck before you see Buffy.

[all7seas]

Hrrm. Right. Bloody Thunderaxe clan fah. Farewell, bender.

[He goes bucketing off toward Seven. There is an icepack there, somewhere.]