Katara (
markofthebrave) wrote2010-03-22 04:18 pm
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[Voice, Action... of a sort] .010
Aang didn't come out for breakfast today. When I went in his room to check on him, all his stuff was gone. ...I guess this means he went home, right?
And all the stuff in the kitchen is different - does anyone know how they're supposed to work?Or how they got in here without waking us up, because -- seriously, creepy.
[Filtered to Longshot 60%]
Hey - haven't seen you around in a while. How are you doing?
[Filtered to Erza 62%, OPEN to Gaang members]
Hi, Erza! I've got a few questions about magic, and you're the only one I know here who does it. Do you mind?
[Filtered to the Green Lantern 62%]
John Stewart, the Green Lantern. I spoke about it with my brother, and we decided that we were more comfortable if you didn't bring us up.
[As for action? Katara is not going very far today. In fact, she is stuck inside, doing healing sessions with the invalid and making sure he stays in bed, and trying to figure out how all this crazy new stuff works. If you think she'd open the door for you and let you in, feel free to stop by and give the girlsomething else do a helping hand!]
And all the stuff in the kitchen is different - does anyone know how they're supposed to work?
[Filtered to Longshot 60%]
Hey - haven't seen you around in a while. How are you doing?
[Filtered to Erza 62%, OPEN to Gaang members]
Hi, Erza! I've got a few questions about magic, and you're the only one I know here who does it. Do you mind?
[Filtered to the Green Lantern 62%]
John Stewart, the Green Lantern. I spoke about it with my brother, and we decided that we were more comfortable if you didn't bring us up.
[As for action? Katara is not going very far today. In fact, she is stuck inside, doing healing sessions with the invalid and making sure he stays in bed, and trying to figure out how all this crazy new stuff works. If you think she'd open the door for you and let you in, feel free to stop by and give the girl
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[He puts a hand gently over that glass before it does crack.]
It's a hard thing, not having control. Not being able to just stop feeling something.
Don't expect so much of your own emotions.
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I was doing just fine. [Please ignore that she's crying when she speaks. And also possibly trembling, just a little.]
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[His voice doesn't lose a fraction of it's steadiness or calm. He gave her fair warning-- now she's going to have to deal with it until she asks him to leave.]
If that's the truth, then I'm sorry I've upset you so much. [But today, he doesn't rise to leave.]
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She's not dishonest enough to start making small talk or attempt to laugh this off... but she's too stubborn to just start talking again either. She can feel that's what he's waiting for.]
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Well.
Sometimes stubbornness can be a good thing.
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She could just continue to sit here in silence... or she could try to back up her words. Her voice is flat.] What do you want me to say?
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Nothing. I don't want you to say anything you don't want to say-- unless you'd like me to leave, in which case I'd appreciate the honesty.
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Katara stands.] I should go check on Zuko. I'll be right back.
[She makes to walk passed him - and she doesn't expect him to be there when she gets back.]
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He sits back down, alternating smoking and drinking. Listening to the rain-- emotions far withdraw into some deep inner hollow of contemplation. He'll still be there.]
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She pauses in the hallway when she sees that Ginko is still there - and is warmed by it. The small smile on her face is genuine when she approaches. Maybe they're done now and he can just visit.]
Hey. You're still here.
[She takes a seat across from him.]
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Well, you didn't tell me to leave.
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[raises an eyebrow] At least we've discovered that I have a knack for upsetting you.
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[Should she explain herself? ...Probably.] I know that what you said is true, and I'm dealing with it as best as I can. I'm glad he's home before he had a chance to get hurt here. At least I know at home, he makes it to the end of the war okay. Here... I can barely keep anyone safe.
[She swallows hard and glances down again.] But... we're all just assuming that home is where he goes... and I know I have to believe that... but... [Deep breath.] What you said about him being back there, fight with us... if he's actually by himself...
[Her hands tighten on the tea cup again as her shoulders hunch.]
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Katara. The only thing we can do in this place is "assume". Assume we're actually here, that we have these wings on out backs, that I'm talking to you right now.
What you just said-- you can "barely keep anyone safe"...what makes you think that's your job? You didn't say trying to keep people safe, or wanting to keep people safe; no single person in the world can truly keep another safe without exception. Your expectations of yourself are so high that when they fall you're the only one who's going to be hurt.
Those "what ifs" that are filling you mind? For one thing-- they are the product of your own worries. For another, there's nothing you can do about them if they are true. You just have to let go, and focus on what you can do.
Because trying to carry the real worries and the ones in your imagination is going to wear you down-- and then you won't even be able to try to protect anyone.
[he leans back again.] You haven't been eating, have you?
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What does that have to do with anything?!
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Am I wrong?
[his tone, which has been placid all the while, softens into something more personal] I just thought I recognized the signs. [he looks her in the eye] Sometimes, when things...happened, when I was younger-- I wouldn't be able to eat for a long time. Like everything was wound so tight inside that there wasn't room for anything but breathing.
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[She takes a deep shuddering breath and meets his gaze evenly.] I'm trying to fix it. But I'm just... not hungry. I just... can't swallow.
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[but he shakes his head] Maybe the problem is that you're making this just another thing to fix. Your mind is so full it's confusing your body. You're carrying too much inside, Katara-- you need to let it go.
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Let it go where?
[Believe it or not, she's not trying to be difficult.] What am I supposed to do?
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Anywhere but holed up inside.
[he shrugs, looking her thoughtfully in the eye] And I don't know you well enough to answer that question.
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