markofthebrave | [Written, Action] .018

[well... she beat him to it.

He'll increase the filter for her before writing back]

Would you prefer over the journals, or in person?

In person. Please.

Of course.

Where do you want to meet?

[His civility is like salt on a wound.]

I don't care.

The barracks are as good a place as any.

I'll be there in ten minutes?

Fine.

[When he gets there, she'll be waiting, leaning against the wall. She'll have washed her face, but some traces the upset will remain if he looks for them.]

[The moment he's close enough to see her, he leans against a wall himself, expression somber.

He'll cut right to the chase]

About Azula?

[She straightens up at that, startled.]

Yes. How did you know?

I heard you briefly on the journals. [y'know, before you slammed it shut]

I didn't say anything!

Maaah, but you did make a noise - I recognized it as you.

[pauses]

I planned on talking to you tomorrow, but looks like you beat me to it.

And why is that? [He won't have heard her speak like this before - hard and sharp like glass.]

Considering you slammed the journal, I figured you might be upset and wanted to check. [And this will be the first time she's heard him speak to her in such a manner - calm and unfazed by her temper]

Well, you're right. I am upset. [And the tears start to come back.] I'm upset, and I'm angry, and I'm hurt.

Why would you do that, Sanji? Don't you know who she is? What she's done to us? Why?

[his gaze softens up, but his tone otherwise remains low and steady]

Because I'm a chef, Katara-chan. And I offered to help her become self-sufficient in the kitchen.

You and Sokka have already told me about the war, and what she's done. But I don't let my job and my personal feelings mix.

You're telling me that you offered to help Azula because it was your job. In a town where there are restaurants, and food you don't even have to hunt to kill, things that you can just rip open and put into one of those microwaves - that's what you're saying?

Yes. If she'd turned me down, that would've been the end of it. But apparently she's willing to learn.

[Katara stares at him for a moment, just trying to understand. But it's like looking at a wall. She can tell he's not going to change his mind. Her lower lip quivers, and she raises one hand to swipe viciously at her eye. The tear follows her hand down and crashes into the wall as ice. She doesn't even notice.]

Well. You have fun with that.

[And she shoves off and starts to make her way out.]

[he watches her storm off for a moment, before quietly speaking up]

I'm not on her side, Katara-chan. [so long as she understands that... she can leave if she wants]

[And that - that she can't let stand. She keeps walking.] Well, you're not on mine either.

[And then she whirls around.] I trusted you!

And I betrayed that trust by showing Azula the difference between a pot and a pan in person?

[pointedly] I was on your side from the beginning. That shit didn't change.

[Her hand goes up to her mouth and a raw sob escapes. Deep pain and grief flickers across her face before she manages to shove it aside - she can't lock it down, the pain his words are slapping at goes too deep.]

Azula isn't stupid. She knows the difference between a pot and pan. She wouldn't starve, she could figure it out - if it humiliates her and she has to work for it a little - she deserves it.

You chose your own side in this, Sanji - and one that was obviously a lot more important than me. And that's fine - I never asked you for anything. And you don't owe me for anything at all. But don't try to make it something little when you're helping someone who's tried to kill me and my friends more times than I can count. It's not little.

I can't even look at her and not remember what she did to Aang. So you - don't you dare try to make it like you're on my side!

Edited 2010-05-25 04:04 (UTC)

[Sanji doesn't even flinch. The angry rebuttal tossed in his face is pointedly ignored besides what he wants to make clear. He's never been one to back down in an emotional battle.

And he'll say what he thinks needs to be said.]

How you want to perceive me choosing sides is up to you. I can't change your mind, Katara-chan. But you're right about something - I do get to chose which side I'm on. [and there's a stony promise that her words aren't going to deter, no matter how angry and hurt she is]

I'm choosing you.

And nothing's gonna change that. Not Azula, some shitty cooking lessons or anything else.

Edited 2010-05-25 04:17 (UTC)

[At those words something painfully hot unleashes in her chest, soothing all the raw and battered ache away with its warmth. She can't think for a moment - and then she's furious. His words and his actions contrast so sharply in her mind, and she doesn't even think he knows the depth of the weight of trust she'd put in those words if she believed them, like she wanted to, and she doesn't dare. For a moment, she hates him for even offering her that choice.]

You don't get to choose that! You don't get to promise anything in this place - especially when you're going out and doing the exact opposite! How stupid do you think I am?

It's my right to choose which side I want to be on. Like it's your right to believe me or not.

[Once again, Sanji cuts to the heart of the matter and lets everything else fall to the wayside. He finds it strange, how calm he can be in the face of her anger. And in a strange way, the outcome of this argument makes no difference to him anymore. The choice has been made; there's literally nothing she can do to dissuade him]

What are you trying to do, Katara-chan? Convince me that I don't give a shit about you?

['I don't give a shit about you.' Hearing him say that, so casually, even if it was in the context of a question - hurts. But when it comes right down to it - if he did care, he wouldn't be helping Azula. He would have at least flinched when she mentioned he'd been spending casual time in the presence of someone who wanted to kill her. But he hadn't. So he didn't. He was just like everyone else.]

Stop it. Just stop, Sanji. You don't have to lie to me on top of everything else. [Her voice had been strangely dead, but now she crumbles a little, wounded accusation leaking through.] I thought you were better than that.

[He almost looks offended by that. It hits the same chord that Yako did, weeks ago]

No, Katara-chan.

If I wanted to lie to you, I would've apologized for teaching Azula how to work a stove, instead of being honest. Or I would've played dumb when you called me out here.

Or agreed with you when you accused me of not being on your side.

Then you would've been right.

[Hearing what he did again - and how small he still seems to think it - stirs up that sense of betrayal again which had almost been overwhelmed by that warmth. Her face contorts in disgust and she tastes bile in the back of her throat.]

You don't know what you're talking about.

You don't get to not betray somebody by saying 'No, I didn't betray you.' You don't get to take something that's important to somebody and say that it's not, and somehow it isn't.

And my name is Katara. You don't get to call me anything else.

... Alright, Katara.

And the only thing I said is I didn't lie to you, not that you don't feel betrayal. You've made that part pretty damn clear. [Does he agree? No, but like he said twice, he's not making her chose how to feel]

That still doesn't change what side I'm on for me.

You can say it, and say it, but that doesn't make it true.

[This hurts. And there's nothing she can do about it. It's not on the level of Jet, or Zuko - it's not the same thing as Hama. But it feels like it. She can't attack him, can't stop him, there's nothing she can do to make this better. It just hurts. How could he? How could he?

She practically trembles with the need to do something - anything to resolve this. But she's helpless. There's nothing more to say.]

You made your choice. We're done here.

[And with that she turns to go.]

Edited 2010-05-25 15:14 (UTC)

There's more than one perspective on the truth. [He's not giving that part up, no matter what.

... He's not going to stop her from walking off this time, though. She's apparently made her choice, too. So he'll bury the levels of pain twisting in his chest and continue leaning against the wall, making no moves to stop her.

And here, he'd really been hoping it wouldn't come to this. Too bad this is Luceti, where everything goes bad.

A soft, pained noise in the back of his throat that's almost like a wry laugh]

... Sorry for making you cry. [Goodbye]

[Sokka is waiting for you, Sanji. On the other side of the barracks. It didn't take much to figure that you'd be here. And even though he wasn't listening in, he knew Katara was on the other side of the building. He had listened in one Sanji's conversation with Azula and he hadn't been too pleased himself. So whenever Sanji walks by to go to wherever he is going, Sokka will announce his presence.]

Oi. Sanji.

[Ah, and there's the sibling. Sanji closes his eyes briefly, wanting so much for this day to be over.

But when he faces Sokka his gaze is straight, and he pulls out a cigarette - the one he resisted smoking in Katara's presence.]

Need something, Sokka?

[Sokka isn't going to start screaming at Sanji, but his expressions definitely paints that of one unhappy teenager. Granted, Sanji's presence tends to have that effect on him anyway. He doesn't answer the question.]

I don't get you. At all.

It's not shit I'm expecting most people to get. [a shrug; he assumes Sokka is talking about Azula, and bases his response from that]

Even if it'd be nice, once in a while.

[It's not too far off, but it goes deeper than that.] Well it's no wonder. Because it's all just a game, isn't it? You don't care what the girl is that you're throwing fake flattery and favors at.

Fake?

I know you're upset because Katara's hurt, and that's your right as her brother.

But don't go assuming shit you don't know, when you don't know a damn thing about me. What I say and do is never fake.

Well, what am I supposed to think? You flip out at the mention of a girl. I don't care that you went to go cooking for Azula. I kinda figured you'd do that regardless of the fact we actually told you about her.

[At this, he actually makes eye contact.]

But Katara? She actually thinks that all the things you say and do actually mean something.

Like how you grudgingly told her how to work a microwave? [He's slipped back into his blank calm that he'll need to get through this conversation, and sighs]

Besides, I didn't go to cook for her. I went to teach her how to work a shitty stove and make soup.

... [he meets the gaze] My respect for women isn't something I'm gonna compromise on. Same with helping anyone who wants to learn to cook for themselves.

So I can't change what Katara feels on the issue, even if I want to.

I only told her what it was, I didn't go over there and give her a demonstration. And that's not the point.

[He just doesn't get it at all. And it's not worth arguing over it. He should just let it drop and-]

You should have left my sister out of it.

[He's tired of this. They're obviously not gonna see eye to eye, and the more he talks with Sokka, the more he wants the kid to stay away from him.

But that last part hits out of left-field. His brow furrows]

What?

Aku. The rescue. [His expression hardens at that.]

There was a lot of people you could have taken up there to 'distract' Aku. You had Adell up there, you even had Moro. You probably could have had those Justice League guys up there if you wanted! But you asked my sister to go up there. When you knew there wasn't a single thing she could do to hurt him. And you also knew she would never refuse to help someone in need, no matter how suicidal or reckless it is!

Because I trust her more than them in battle.

[it's really that simple of a matter for him.] Almost none of us could hurt Aku - tch, I was more useless than Katara in that battle. She could at least hold him off, while Chopper and I barely managed a dodge.

Adell wanted to protect Flonne, who needed that. And I don't know the shitty Justice League, or a lot of the people in this town. But I know Katara.

That's not good enough, Sanji. I've fought in a war before. You don't get the luxury of knowing and trusting every person you go to fight with. When you plan an attack, you take the best you can, not just the ones that are your so-called friends.

Do you know what Aku did to her? When she came back, she had cracked ribs. And that was because she was lucky. She could have died. Or been captured instead. And me? I wouldn't have even known if she hadn't told me herself she was going.

And as far as I'm concerned, Katara was still of the best. Her waterbending is one of the most versatile styles of fighting even in this place. Unlike most shitheads, she can hit more than one spot and protect herself better than any of us.

[skipping over the cracked ribs part because ha, Sanji knows you can survive those just fine] We didn't tell you because Katara was going to in the first place - otherwise I would've said something.

[This next part comes out needle-point sharp] And If I was just choosing friends instead of the best, I would've asked you to come along myself.

[All of this is meaningless because Sokka knows exactly what Sanji is saying. And it hurts.]

Next time, don't bother asking me for anything. For either reason. Because the first one doesn't apply at all. That goes for my sister too. Just leave her alone. [With that, he's just going to walk away. He's done.]

[That's fine with him, as he makes no show to stop him, or explain himself further. Sanji's rather impressed by Sokka's teenage tantrum, anyway,
and turns to go home.

He needs a nap. Badly.

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[Action] THAT TEAR IS A LIE. D8

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