markofthebrave | [Written, Action] .018

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[Written, Action] .018

[So there were tears, and there was rage, and now there is a very shaky determination, because the only way Katara knows out of pain is through it. She painstakingly crafts a filter. She doesn't trust her voice, so she writes:]

[Filtered to Sanji, 80 percent.]

Sanji, we need to talk.

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[And that - that she can't let stand. She keeps walking.] Well, you're not on mine either.

[And then she whirls around.] I trusted you!

And I betrayed that trust by showing Azula the difference between a pot and a pan in person?

[pointedly] I was on your side from the beginning. That shit didn't change.

[Her hand goes up to her mouth and a raw sob escapes. Deep pain and grief flickers across her face before she manages to shove it aside - she can't lock it down, the pain his words are slapping at goes too deep.]

Azula isn't stupid. She knows the difference between a pot and pan. She wouldn't starve, she could figure it out - if it humiliates her and she has to work for it a little - she deserves it.

You chose your own side in this, Sanji - and one that was obviously a lot more important than me. And that's fine - I never asked you for anything. And you don't owe me for anything at all. But don't try to make it something little when you're helping someone who's tried to kill me and my friends more times than I can count. It's not little.

I can't even look at her and not remember what she did to Aang. So you - don't you dare try to make it like you're on my side!

Edited 2010-05-25 04:04 (UTC)

[Sanji doesn't even flinch. The angry rebuttal tossed in his face is pointedly ignored besides what he wants to make clear. He's never been one to back down in an emotional battle.

And he'll say what he thinks needs to be said.]

How you want to perceive me choosing sides is up to you. I can't change your mind, Katara-chan. But you're right about something - I do get to chose which side I'm on. [and there's a stony promise that her words aren't going to deter, no matter how angry and hurt she is]

I'm choosing you.

And nothing's gonna change that. Not Azula, some shitty cooking lessons or anything else.

Edited 2010-05-25 04:17 (UTC)

[At those words something painfully hot unleashes in her chest, soothing all the raw and battered ache away with its warmth. She can't think for a moment - and then she's furious. His words and his actions contrast so sharply in her mind, and she doesn't even think he knows the depth of the weight of trust she'd put in those words if she believed them, like she wanted to, and she doesn't dare. For a moment, she hates him for even offering her that choice.]

You don't get to choose that! You don't get to promise anything in this place - especially when you're going out and doing the exact opposite! How stupid do you think I am?

It's my right to choose which side I want to be on. Like it's your right to believe me or not.

[Once again, Sanji cuts to the heart of the matter and lets everything else fall to the wayside. He finds it strange, how calm he can be in the face of her anger. And in a strange way, the outcome of this argument makes no difference to him anymore. The choice has been made; there's literally nothing she can do to dissuade him]

What are you trying to do, Katara-chan? Convince me that I don't give a shit about you?

['I don't give a shit about you.' Hearing him say that, so casually, even if it was in the context of a question - hurts. But when it comes right down to it - if he did care, he wouldn't be helping Azula. He would have at least flinched when she mentioned he'd been spending casual time in the presence of someone who wanted to kill her. But he hadn't. So he didn't. He was just like everyone else.]

Stop it. Just stop, Sanji. You don't have to lie to me on top of everything else. [Her voice had been strangely dead, but now she crumbles a little, wounded accusation leaking through.] I thought you were better than that.

[He almost looks offended by that. It hits the same chord that Yako did, weeks ago]

No, Katara-chan.

If I wanted to lie to you, I would've apologized for teaching Azula how to work a stove, instead of being honest. Or I would've played dumb when you called me out here.

Or agreed with you when you accused me of not being on your side.

Then you would've been right.

[Hearing what he did again - and how small he still seems to think it - stirs up that sense of betrayal again which had almost been overwhelmed by that warmth. Her face contorts in disgust and she tastes bile in the back of her throat.]

You don't know what you're talking about.

You don't get to not betray somebody by saying 'No, I didn't betray you.' You don't get to take something that's important to somebody and say that it's not, and somehow it isn't.

And my name is Katara. You don't get to call me anything else.

... Alright, Katara.

And the only thing I said is I didn't lie to you, not that you don't feel betrayal. You've made that part pretty damn clear. [Does he agree? No, but like he said twice, he's not making her chose how to feel]

That still doesn't change what side I'm on for me.

You can say it, and say it, but that doesn't make it true.

[This hurts. And there's nothing she can do about it. It's not on the level of Jet, or Zuko - it's not the same thing as Hama. But it feels like it. She can't attack him, can't stop him, there's nothing she can do to make this better. It just hurts. How could he? How could he?

She practically trembles with the need to do something - anything to resolve this. But she's helpless. There's nothing more to say.]

You made your choice. We're done here.

[And with that she turns to go.]

Edited 2010-05-25 15:14 (UTC)

There's more than one perspective on the truth. [He's not giving that part up, no matter what.

... He's not going to stop her from walking off this time, though. She's apparently made her choice, too. So he'll bury the levels of pain twisting in his chest and continue leaning against the wall, making no moves to stop her.

And here, he'd really been hoping it wouldn't come to this. Too bad this is Luceti, where everything goes bad.

A soft, pained noise in the back of his throat that's almost like a wry laugh]

... Sorry for making you cry. [Goodbye]

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[Written, Action] .018

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[Action] THAT TEAR IS A LIE. D8

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