markofthebrave | [ Action, Some Journal ] BACKDATED to the 11th .059

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[ Action, Some Journal ] BACKDATED to the 11th .059

[On April 9th, Katara had been told that she was an "error," and doomed to die by a boy with the face of the man she loved. As you can imagine, the rest of the day was not spent cheerfully; rather after wandering about for some time, Katara returned home to make dinner and then quietly excused herself to write some letters, and then bend into the early morning hours.

On April 10th, the sun rose on a Katara who was entirely herself, and the sudden onslaught of memories drove her to her knees. In the early hours of the morning, she wept beside the river, feeling inside out and torn apart and lost... eventually she returned to her room in order to sleep the sleep of the deeply exhausted.

She did not wake until April 11th. This was another slow day, where she read the letters her other self had written and decided not to give them out, ended up seeking some unlikely advice, and generally stuck to her schedule, feeling... strange.

But today? Today she woke up feeling a little more like herself. It was a Thursday, which meant meeting Nami for bo practice after school (which she... finally got back to attending, sorry Professor) and then made dinner. She may glance through the journal a bit more than normal; she may even contemplate attempting to contact someone, and... eventually, she does make two locked posts:]

[Written | Private to Robin]
Hey. I know you'll probably say you're fine, but I just wanted to ask how you were doing.

[Voice | Private to Wolfwood]
Do you have a minute?

[Later that evening, she'll be practicing by the river, under the light of a waning moon.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm not really hungry.

[...but she makes herself grab a mango anyway.]

Are you sure? You basically slept through yesterday.

[Though he's not pushing it. She has a mango. That's a start.]

I had been up all night, the night before.

[Yes, she's sure. She starts mechanically washing and slicing them mango.]

More for Zuko, I guess.

[At least he appreciates bacon. But. He didn't stick around to check on Katara's dietary habits. So.]

I missed you the night before. [There's an unspoken apology there.]

[Slow, methodical cuts into the mango.]

I wasn't really fit for company.

[Don't worry about it.

Everything feels very numb and far away.]

How about now?

[Normally he'd be making off for the smithy soon. But he doesn't look like he's in a hurry to leave.]

I think I'll be able to make it to school.

[That was totally what you were asking, right, Sokka?]

[Avoidance. He shook his head, frowning.]

Well, I figured that part. I'm trying to show concern. This doesn't come easily to me, you know.

[...]

I appreciate that.

You know you can talk to me about it, right?

[Sigh.]

Talk to you about what, Sokka?

Edited 2012-04-15 06:28 (UTC)

[He deflated a bit.]

The life I remembered was only slightly different. But. Everything was different for you. Different with him.

[Katara stared at her methodically sliced mango.]

That doesn't really matter, does it?

I think it does to you.

[It's not like she just forgot about it.]

Sokka... you don't need to try and coddle me. I know the difference between truth and reality and what they put in our heads.

It's not coddling! I don't coddle. I'm just... concerned. That's all.

[She sighs again and takes her bowl of mango to go sit at the table.]

What do you want to know?

[... that's a good question. He's been pretty much stabbing at the dark here, hasn't he. The worst question that immediately comes to mind is, "So what about Masaomi?"

Fortunately maturity has tempered him to not be so callous. He just. Doesn't have much else to ask.]

... I don't know. [He lets out a breath.] See? I'm really not good at this.

[She rolled her eyes lightly and speared a piece of mango with a fork.]

That's okay. [She smiles a little.] I appreciate that you're trying. A residual broken heart is a heavy memory to carry, but... I'll be okay.

[And that's the least of her problems, really.]

[Residual broken heart...?]

You had the error, right? [Of course he knew the answer. But he hadn't let on that he did.]

[He might have been able to tell when she got back, sure. But by then, the damage had been done.]

...yeah.

Edited 2012-04-16 05:25 (UTC)

But you didn't realize it. [Not until later. Not until she came back crushed.]

Well, how would I? Aang came back and remembered... I still felt the same. I didn't think to check with anyone else.

[...]

She didn't think to check with anyone else. [The distinction is so important. She looks down at her mango, abruptly not hungry anymore.] She was so happy.

Yeah. I noticed. [He understands that distinction. His life in that other world was so similar, he hasn't done that for himself. But he's had other lives. Ones he doesn't associate with himself. That separation is important.]

It most be hard. Carrying her pain.

[She closes her eyes, trying not to cry. It feels so painfully easy to do. And she hasn't even had a chance to really think about what this must have done to Masaomi... what he'd said... what he'd done, to her and for her.

I don't know what to do with it.

Does she try to hold on to it? Does she try to let it go? It had hurt so much.

But admitting that she doesn't know what to do isn't something that Katara does easily.]

...it will fade eventually.

[11th, morning]

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