markofthebrave | [Voice, Action... of a sort] .010

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[Voice, Action... of a sort] .010

Aang didn't come out for breakfast today. When I went in his room to check on him, all his stuff was gone. ...I guess this means he went home, right?

And all the stuff in the kitchen is different - does anyone know how they're supposed to work? ~~Or how they got in here without waking us up, because -- seriously, creepy.~~

[Filtered to Longshot 60%]
Hey - haven't seen you around in a while. How are you doing?

[Filtered to Erza 62%, OPEN to Gaang members]
Hi, Erza! I've got a few questions about magic, and you're the only one I know here who does it. Do you mind?

[Filtered to the Green Lantern 62%]
John Stewart, the Green Lantern. I spoke about it with my brother, and we decided that we were more comfortable if you didn't bring us up.

[As for action? Katara is not going very far today. In fact, she is stuck inside, doing healing sessions with the invalid and making sure he stays in bed, and trying to figure out how all this crazy new stuff works. If you think she'd open the door for you and let you in, feel free to stop by and give the girl ~~something else do~~ a helping hand!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[And Katara freezes once again, midway to grabbing her own cup after pouring Ginko his. Come on, Ginko, you're destroying the sacred rite of 'no disturbing topics over tea.' It doesn't last long, quick as a blink she's moving back again, staring into her tea.]

I guess. That's what everyone says happens.

[He defies social convention that way, honey.]

It's a pretty sure thing-- enough people have come back from it to verify the signs. So...[he watches her face carefully] he's home now, doing his job with all of you-- just as it should be.

[...was that supposed to be comforting, Ginko? Her hands tighten on the mug.]

How can he be off doing that if we're still here?

[That last word is ripped out of her very gut, rough and raw and full of pain. What if Aang is back, but he has no one to be with him? What if he's just -- frozen somewhere, waiting for them to get back, to come and free him again? She stands up abruptly.] How can he be gone if we're still here!?

[He watches her reaction, expressionless-- then he leans forward, tone imperturbably calm.]

Time is a tricky thing, Katara.

I've spent an hour on a boat before-- only to return to shore and find that three months had passed since I set foot there. And this world is nothing if not strange.

Everyone I've ever spoken to who has returned home before being caught here again has said the same thing: they returned as if no time has passed. [a pause, and then, bluntly] Aang isn't alone. The one who has to do the waiting is you.

I know that! [She sits down abruptly.] Don't you think I know that? I know I have to wait.

[Her hand is tightening very dangerously around that teacup now... she doesn't even notice that a little more pressure might make it crack. He's right, Aang probably won't even notice. He's not alone - there's just something funny with time. He's safe.

...and she already misses him so much it hurts.]

To be able to bend an element to your will must be a comforting thing. It must make you feel like you have control over some corner of the world, no matter how small.
[He puts a hand gently over that glass before it does crack.]

It's a hard thing, not having control. Not being able to just stop feeling something.

Don't expect so much of your own emotions.

Don't talk to me like you know me! [She might have been able to hear the rest but bringing her bending into it was unacceptable. She recoils from him... but leaves her hand there on that cup.] You don't know what I've been through or what my bending means to me -- you can't tell me what I can or can't feel.

I was doing just fine. [Please ignore that she's crying when she speaks. And also possibly trembling, just a little.]

Edited 2010-03-23 05:36 (UTC)

[The single green eye that has seen bodies wrenched out of their natural forms, ten years of suffering and death and irreparable loss, takes on a strange gleam.] No, Katara-- I don't suppose I do.

[His voice doesn't lose a fraction of it's steadiness or calm. He gave her fair warning-- now she's going to have to deal with it until she asks him to leave.]

If that's the truth, then I'm sorry I've upset you so much. [But today, he doesn't rise to leave.]

[She nods, and still trembling reaches up with her free hand to wipe away her tears. It's not enough to calm her down, so she'll tug at the hand that's holding the tea cup. She wants a sip of tea.]

[He just smiles a little wryly, and pulls his hand back to lean on it-- saying nothing.]

[She manages to raise it up to her lips without spilling it and almost burns herself with how quickly she sips it down. Her trembling slows and only a few more tears leak out. Quietly, Katara lowers the tea cup again and stares straight ahead.

She's not dishonest enough to start making small talk or attempt to laugh this off... but she's too stubborn to just start talking again either. She can feel that's what he's waiting for.]

[Ginko just leans back in the chair, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. He breathes a stream of smoke to the side, before noting--]

Well.

Sometimes stubbornness can be a good thing.

[Katara recognized his words as a jab, but she didn't feel the sting. She just felt... hollow and tumultuous at the same time, itchy to move and do something... but that felt like giving in a different way.

She could just continue to sit here in silence... or she could try to back up her words. Her voice is flat.] What do you want me to say?

[He exhales slowly, watching the smoke curl]

Nothing. I don't want you to say anything you don't want to say-- unless you'd like me to leave, in which case I'd appreciate the honesty.

No. I don't want you to go. [The response is automatic and sincere - she doesn't want him to go, but at the same time she doesn't want him here. She can feel the weight of expectation, of being evaluated, and it's uncomfortable and awkward. She started to speak, and so now her stubbornness is gone and she's up against her pride. Her pride that - for all her exasperation of it in others - is like leaning up against one of her ice spikes, cold and pointed, and if it broke the chances were good that it would cut her as she fell.

Katara stands.] I should go check on Zuko. I'll be right back.

[She makes to walk passed him - and she doesn't expect him to be there when she gets back.]

[But Ginko is holding her to her words now, not her expectations. He get up and makes more tea while she's going, resisting the urge to poke around the strange-looking new appliances.

He sits back down, alternating smoking and drinking. Listening to the rain-- emotions far withdraw into some deep inner hollow of contemplation. He'll still be there.]

[Zuko is sleeping. Good. It might have been an excuse to get away for a few minutes, but Katara still takes the water from the basin wraps it around her hand before touching his forehead gently. He's straightening out, slowly but surely. He'll be okay. She takes a moment to soothe the pathway that leads to sleep, insuring that his rest will be undisturbed, before turning to leave.

She pauses in the hallway when she sees that Ginko is still there - and is warmed by it. The small smile on her face is genuine when she approaches. Maybe they're done now and he can just visit.]

Hey. You're still here.

[She takes a seat across from him.]

[He smiles a little, watching her.]

Well, you didn't tell me to leave.

[She picks up her tea and takes a sip. Frowns. Then heats it with a touch.] I didn't want you to. I just thought you might.

[He sighs a little and leans on one hand. Dryly--] I try to time my exits a little better than that.

[She shrugs a little, looking into her tea cup.] Well, I wouldn't know that, would I. There's a lot we haven't talked about.

That's certainly true.

[raises an eyebrow] At least we've discovered that I have a knack for upsetting you.

Heh. [She smiles up at him, quick and wry.] Sokka wouldn't say that took any special doing.

[Should she explain herself? ...Probably.] I know that what you said is true, and I'm dealing with it as best as I can. I'm glad he's home before he had a chance to get hurt here. At least I know at home, he makes it to the end of the war okay. Here... I can barely keep anyone safe.

[She swallows hard and glances down again.] But... we're all just assuming that home is where he goes... and I know I have to believe that... but... [Deep breath.] What you said about him being back there, fight with us... if he's actually by himself...

[Her hands tighten on the tea cup again as her shoulders hunch.]

Edited 2010-03-23 18:21 (UTC)

[He listens to everything she has so say, then sets his cup down decisively, and leans forward on both arms to face her.]

Katara. The only thing we can do in this place is "assume". Assume we're actually here, that we have these wings on out backs, that I'm talking to you right now.

What you just said-- you can "barely keep anyone safe"...what makes you think that's your job? You didn't say trying to keep people safe, or wanting to keep people safe; no single person in the world can truly keep another safe without exception. Your expectations of yourself are so high that when they fall you're the only one who's going to be hurt.

Those "what ifs" that are filling you mind? For one thing-- they are the product of your own worries. For another, there's nothing you can do about them if they are true. You just have to let go, and focus on what you can do.

Because trying to carry the real worries and the ones in your imagination is going to wear you down-- and then you won't even be able to try to protect anyone.

[he leans back again.] You haven't been eating, have you?

[Any of the points that she might have protested are swept away by his last statement, and Katara recoils. She's kept her promise to Sanji. She's made herself eat little things all through the day, even if she can't make herself finish them, she's getting better. But the fact that she still has no appetite - frightens her. She knows she can't do anything if she's weak herself, and just the loss of hunger itself... is disturbing.]

What does that have to do with anything?!

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