markofthebrave | [ Action, Voice ] .055

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[ Action, Voice ] .055

[These decorations have been up for a few days now, and while at first Katara thought they were pretty they have now succeeded in making her grumpy. Yes. Very grumpy. Grumpy enough to make a post about it, in fact.]

How do they expect us to sleep with all these lights in our window? I've put a double curtain over it, and the light is still keeping me awake. Does anyone have any ideas?

[You might catch some muttering about: "Moving to sleep down in the basement" or "It's not too cold to camp out in the forest" before the journal shuts. She'll get back to it in a little bit, she just needs to finish making the grocery list.

Once she finishes with any replies that she may receive, Katara heads into town. The lights really are pretty. And so are the wreaths and the snowmen and the... unfamiliar sprigs of green over the doorway to the grocery store really kind of... isn't. Why is that even there? Katara pauses underneath it to examine it more closely...]

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It's one of those mistletoe things you hear about sometimes...? Ah, I've never actually seen one like this...

[Ahaha....]

[Yeeeeeeeeah, still looking at him all wide-eyed and. Aware.]

I've never heard of it.

It's something of a custom...! Back on Earth, I don't know... too much though.

[He shifts... actually. Feeling a bit hot now?? Weird]

[Just. Swaying towards him now. A bit too close, actually, and she blinks and leans back, a little sheepish as her gaze flickers from his lips to his eyes.]

What kind of a custom is it?

Well~ a holiday one...? [And he leans back a bit. Um wow, she looks prettier than usual today. Actually-]

Do you use lip balm, Katara?

[Blink. Distracted by his seemingly incongruous and - crap, was she staring at his mouth again? What was wrong with her? - statement, Katara blushes a little at 'being caught out.']

No. Not unless it's a special occasion. Why?

Edited 2011-12-14 04:24 (UTC)

They just look more- [.......FUUUUH ENTICING MIGHT SCARE HER OFF. UH. WELL] good?

Oh. Um. [WHAT IS THIS CONVERSATION AND WHY ARE THEY HAVING IT? Katara's gaze dart's to the side as her blush most certainly remains.] Thank... [glancing back up at him and wow he looks good today] ...you?

[And yes, it ends on a question mark because WHAT IS SHE SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS CONVERSATION. Masaomi is her friend. Her... attractive friend. Who flirts with everyone. So she really needs to step away from him right. now. No, no, away from him, not towards. OK, well. That leaning forward isn't stepping, but it is also most definitely not AWAY.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, there is the precursor to warning bells.]

Edited 2011-12-14 04:31 (UTC)

[And he in turn... frowns. No. No. Sure, he does like her a lot and for months he tried to dream back to dreaming about kissing her, but his compulsion right now, to be close to her would screw up everything. He swallows, his mouth now feeling a bit dry. He tries to take a step back, but instead an arm raises slowly, to reach out and...

What? Touch her? No. It sort of just hangs there in the limited space between them]

A-ah... no problem.

[And those are the warning bells. She glances from his hand back to his face - again, snagging on his lips, taking in his expression. She can't bring herself to lean back and Katara quickly bites her lower lip, an uncharacteristically nervous expression, in part because she hopes the sting will snap her out of this and in part because she can't stop imagining leaning forward and -

-I wonder what his kiss would feel like?]

Masaomi?

Katara?

[Swallow. His hand falls.

...but then it comes back up. He goes to put it on her shoulder. Yes, he's inspired right now. Inspired. It's not like anything he's feeling now he hasn't felt dozens of times now. It's not like everything he's thought now he hasn't thought dozens of times before now. Y-yeah. So it'll be okay?]

[She feels the heat of his hand through her parka and swallows, temporarily losing her train of thought. The world narrows in focus to the heat of his hand and the way he was looking at her...

But it's no big deal, right? It's not as though they haven't touched before--

--her mind takes her back to that night when she'd let him in through her window and the two of them had stood close, like this, and almost crossed a line.

Her heart starts to beat faster, and she wets her lips, trying to hold on to what's normal. The plant above them, the custom he alluded to? Forgotten.]

Do you feel... okay? I mean - normal.

[Because this isn't, is it? This isn't normal.]

I feel... [Lightly. Okay, he made it. Relief flushes over him when she doesn't recoil or anything. Her eyes are wider now, yes. But so are his own. His face screws up in a moment of brief contemplation when she asks though - normal? Is he normal? This is all what he's felt before... but. Ah-]

[His cheeks flush a bit and he leans in a bit]

I guess you could say I feel excited.

[Okay, okay, he's leaning closer. Now what? Is he really going to... kiss her? Does she want him to?

Yes.

Her heart is beating even faster now as her adrenaline starts to kick in. Nervous. She's nervous. Because - because why? Because this is Masaomi and this isn't... it isn't normal. She's just not sure how much she cares about that right now. All the same, Katara reaches up and puts her hand on his chest, by his heart, and lightly exerts enough pressure to stop his advance. Her eyes are wide and aware - measuring even though her pupils are dilated.]

But why? [Her voice is far too soft.] Why are you excited?

Be...cause the moment- [And he leans in a bit further, pushing through her advance. his smile is warm, genuine, affectionate. Light, not nearly a smirk he might usually have and most importantly, it reaches his eyes. Which are looking at her with something someone more honest might call ... well what, love? Definitely lovingly.] -I've actually been waiting for this?

[And he shifts his hand, to put one behind her - her back- no, waist]

[More than his words, his expression, the way he says them, draw Katara out of the haze she's in. Her eyes widen with surprise, mouth opening to form a small "o." It feels as though her heart, already beating rapidly, stops for a moment before increasing the pace once again.]

What?

[She heard him. She sees his face. But she doesn't fight him when his hand comes and rests on her waist. He's... holding her. And it's not... it doesn't feel like he's trapping her or that he's keeping her in place. It feels like he's holding her. Carefully. As if she's fragile. As if she's precious. Her heart clenches.

In the back of her mind, she remembers someone else who used to hold her like this, and how much she regrets not letting him do it more. And she doesn't pull away, doesn't push harder against his chest or raise her other hand - she's suddenly full of too much: affection, confusion, desire... all she can do is tilt her head back, lips still slightly parted and softened with surprise, as her reason and responses struggle to catch up with the cacophony of emotion.

It felt good to be held like this.]

[He doesn't reply to that. Holding her, he rocks a bit in place. Yeah, this moment is right, this moment feels right. He feels good, he feels confident, and she isn't fighting him. She isn't resisting him. She... doesn't hate him. She doesn't miss the point right now, like she always has. It's like what he said with Shikamaru.

Well. Mostly.

Saki comes up in his head and as he drifts a little closer to her face that comes into his mind but... no. They're through, over. And Katara here just considers this. Okay. Just a few inches closer. Don't... choke now. Don't choke, Kida]

[Oh, moon and stars, he's leaning closer.

A stab of guilt runs through her heart, and she instinctively knows it's a precursor of things to come, if she lets him, if she lets him... he's her friend. She doesn't think of him this way - she doesn't. And he doesn't think of her this way, not really. Despite the way he looked, despite what he said, despite the steady pressure and the heat of his hands on her body...]

Masaomi, I--

[Katara ducks her head and looks away, blushing. She presses her lips firmly together. And when she speaks next, her voice is strained.] This isn't normal.

[She really, really wants to kiss him right now. Her lips are practically tingling with want, despite her best efforts her body is straining towards him. But using him - lying to him - and just as bad, being used? Oh, she doesn't want that. She doesn't want that at all. She wants to stay his friend and please don't let this be--]

[...and she's still going there. He hangs his head, falling out at the last moment and coming short of kissing her. She gave in. She turned away. Rejected- no. She didn't even reject him. It's just what Shikamaru said, she still doesn't get it. He sighs, keeping her in his embrace, but knowing that, once again, his moment is gone

And he says the next part in a horse whisper:] Godammit.

[Her gaze flicks up to him at that, fast and concerned. He doesn't curse like that around her, he doesn't sound like that.]

Masaomi?

[She just wants everything to be okay. She doesn't want to hurt anybody, she doesn't want to be hurt...

...and she should really try to step out of his embrace, because that urge to lean forward and press her lips to his? Yeah. It's still there. But her heart is weighed down with the knowledge that there's something that isn't right... and if she doesn't feel that way, she shouldn't want to kiss him.

...even though she really wants to kiss him. And at this exact moment, she couldn't tell you what she feels.]

[His head remains hung, and in that same horse whisper, he presses on. Flatly. Without emotion. Without connection. He knows this isn't influencing him - if it is, it's been a lie which has stuck with him for months now. But she wants to hear this, right? She thinks it is wrong]

It's an earth custom where you kiss someone under it. Someone you like.

[Blink.]

What?

[Because that plant? Yeah, it's still forgotten. She's more concerned right now with him, and how he won't look at her and... she'd done the right thing! Then why did it hurt so much? She hates to see him like this.]

[Slowly, painfully, he lowers his arms. Yes, put them at his sides. His sides. Look at your feet, don't look at her. Exhale, step back. Another step back]

Mistletoe, that is.

[She looks a little lost when he steps away, her head turning to watch the removal of his hand from her shoulder and then swiveling back to him as he moves backwards. Her hand, where it had been pressed against his chest, hesitates for a moment between them touching nothing but air before she lowers it to her side. And she watches him walk backwards, willing him to look up, to be okay... he doesn't.

The instant he leaves the circle of mistletoe, the urge to kiss him leaves. The need to comfort him - to make everything all right doesn't.

...neither does the curiosity. Just then, she'd been forced to look at him as someone who was more than a friend. Just then, she'd been made to wonder...

She tries to move past it. It's not necessary, it's not what's important right now. He is, and this thing that did this to them...

She glances back up at the plant. With the relief she feels not to look at him, it almost feels cowardly.]

You mean this thing made us feel like that?

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